Thursday, December 13, 2012

IM IN LOVE...LOVE...Baby for the first time....

DAY 13 DECEMBER F.L.Y. CHALLENGE FINALLY LOVING YOURSELF

Wanted to write because something has...changed...

I woke up on yesterday feeling like a brand new person, i can't explain the feeling other than a new love feel. I was explaining to my cousin/therapist/separtatedatbirther that it feels like being in love for the first time, like i woke up and realized someone loved the hell out of me. And she responded you have always been loved, and she is right and i joked im not talking bout that ole rusty love HA! Then we decided "vintage" was the best description (love you honey, 21 years strong!) But the new love when the sun seems brighter, and air seems crisper and the voices in your head seem clearer....who said that? LOL but seriously...Just singing in the rain Happy to be alive L O V E!

And it dawned on me, thats me loving me! I am in love and falling in love with myself, who i am, who i am becoming and who i am going to be! It is invigorating, because things are changing inside of me. And i wish i could bottle this feeling and sell it as i would be a A GAZILLIONAIRE, i know not a word, but still.

We survived the boy's party, some people didn't show up who i was hoping would be there considering i am high tailing it up out of town, i was hurt/angry, then i talked to myself and set the proper expectations, accepted my disappointment, and moved on...so refreshing to honor your feelings without the need of validation and to just move on, no worse for wear, no unkind words spoken, or negative thoughts nursed and festering. Man i tell you that Phoenix Rising Baltimore Sista Circle has grown me in so many ways and i am eternally Grateful.  

I am on my 9th Day of Juicing and feeling pretty ah-mazing! 

This juicing was initiated by a co-worker who is really more than a co-worker, she's my sweetheart, i am thankful for her and her spirit and being the vessel to propel me forward. She mentioned she would be doing it and me and another co-worker/sweetheart was like we down! We are all doing it differently and to our own level of comfort, but the energy of unity is still there, it simply so gratifying when you open your heart and you decide to lead with love, you are in line to receive so many different blessings coming from directions you never would expect.  I am expanding my breast and healing my wounds/womb with one compassionate loving act toward myself at a time, so i have been focusing on how i treat my temple. 

NOTE: Very little to do with weight loss, but much to do with what my body deserves. This is a lifestyle change for me, I havent weighed myself and i wont for some time now. When i decided to be healthy and whole, its a no brainer that weight loss is a natural by product and doesn't warrant attention...does that make sense?(insider lol)

So, 


I have been doing mostly Kale, Cucumber, Celery, Apple, Pear, Carrot, Beet, Spinach and Mint, this week i have added squash and cabbage to the mix.  I don't mix this all together. I generally have my green juice in the morning/afternoon and then my Orange/Red juice later in the day. I haven't been juicing enough as my work days have been long but i am educating myself everyday hence doing better everyday.  I can not wait to re-introduce the different meals i have been discovering during this reboot time  so that me and my family can be healthy whole and complete. Finally Loving Me!

I have always known obedience to my nature gives me self-esteem, but being who i am, obedience has NEVER come easy for me, i've been a rebel since Way Back and always looked at obedience like a noose or death sentence a way to stifle my inner wild child, whom i have grown greatly attached to and happens to think is pretty frickin Kewl, if i do say so myself, and i do.

But i realized that it is not obedience to my nature that will prohibit me but actual GIVE US US FREE!!!!! I feel confident when i submit to my nature, i feel bold, humble, sexy ALIVE! Obedience to my nature builds my self-esteem and is a constant reminder of just how miraculous i can actually be. I said before there is a miracle of me...me, just me #nofilter and i asked the question, how do you treat a miracle? 

I am working on this miracle that is me every single day CONSCIOUSLY not just going through the motions day end and day out, but CONSCIOUSLY Finally Loving Me. I prayed and meditated this morning and i noticed i didn't thank the creator for another day to get it right as i always have, but just another day to get BETTER!  

"Respect your body...your temple!
It's been better to you, than you've been to it.
Give thanks to your body for it's life long commitment and loyalty to you!"

This is a road of self-love self-discovery and self-mastery. I think we could all do better if we learned to control ourselves and set a course for our own destiny instead of offering so many opinions and advice we simply do not follow personally. BE THE CHANGE WE SEEK!



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